Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tweet Away Your Dignity

Are you really that self-involved? "I've got to take out my cell phone and make sure everyone knows what I'm doing right now! And then again four minutes from now!" Tragic.

Incubus Greatest Hits Album? Seriously?

According to Incubus' MySpace Blog, the band will be releasing a greatest hits album next year. Thank you, Incubus, for giving me something to dissect the crap out of. I'm pretty much an Incubus loyalist, but if you asked me to make a record of Incubus' Greatest Hits, I can tell you right now it would be markedly different from what they'll be hawking this spring. I'm so ready, boys.

SMACKDOWN!: May/December Relationships

Let's rap for a moment, friends, about dating across generation gaps. Men dating younger women is nothing new in Western or even world cultures. In fact, I consider myself something of a proponent of this practice, in accordance with my belief that men are about six years behind women in the maturation process.

However, there is still something to be said for respecting the person you are dating, and I've oft observed that this respect is lacking from most May/December relationships. In particular, the older person seems to relish pointing out the foolishness of his young partner. As someone with friends of all ages, I've seen my male friends date women 10, 15, even 40 years younger, and what I've observed in all cases is a rampant disrespect for the female. And I get it. I once dated a dude four years younger than I, and I knew the whole time that I didn't respect him much at all. And being able to push him around was a great ego boost. But at the same time, I knew it wouldn't last, because I knew the foundation for a real relationship was missing. And that's fine, I suppose, if you know this is what you're signing up for. (And by "fine" I mean grossly unfair to your sprightly young partner.) The problem is, your self-serving, manipulated dynamic will only get you so far. It is temporary, and at the end of the day you (and probably all your best friends) know this is some crap farce of a relationship fostered only to serve your bruised and infantine ego, and it's doing nothing to make you a better person.

Now, if you choose to be part of this kind of relationshit, that's your prerogative. But you have to know that it's pretty unhealthy/wacked/housed, and that your friends may very possibly be looking down on you for participating in this kind of ego-based flippant disregard for the soul of your "partner." I have some friends I love dearly, but witnessing and understanding the dynamics of these relationships they cultivate changes my perception of and respect for them as individuals. Sure it's easy to feel like a Big Man when you're shaking your head and wagging your finger at your partner, or when you're remarking to your friends that you can't believe how stupid she is, but what kind of person dates someone for whom they have such rampant disdain? Wouldn't it be more beneficial to your development as a sentient being to partner with someone you revere and respect? Call me crazy, but to me this seems like a much better idea. As I said, I've been there. I get it. But I was in my early 20s then, dating a 19-year-old, and I would never put myself in that position again. I'd rather be alone than keep someone around just to use her as my personal punching bag/dumping ground.

SMACKDOWN!: Going Blonde

About six months ago I decided to go blonde. Really blonde. Not highlights, but full-on bleached-as-fuck platinum. The experience left me with chemical burns and scabs on my scalp and a completely new perception of women who choose to be bottle blondes. A world away from a simple, painless foil highlight, this process had me texting friends from my salon chair about the pain and fear of fainting, taking very deliberate breaths (trying to find my zen place), and generally trying to act normal even though my entire body began reacting to the pain (shaky limbs, spotty vision). I started contemplating why any woman would routinely subject herself to this kind of torture just to be blonde. I've accepted pain in the name of beauty countless times (piercings, tattoos, waxes, high heeled shoes) but this kind of self-abuse is baffling to me. I'm never doing this again. The experience was thoroughly disgusting in every sense of the word. Furthermore it makes me regard the bottle blondes I see in a completely different and unsexy light. I look at them and I see scabs, dandruff, insecurity and a whole lot of trying too hard. Am I a complete asshole for seeing this in all these women? Quite possibly. But I just can't justify that kind of pain for having blonde freaking hair.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


someone i know please buy this shirt

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Otto; Or, Up With Dead People

This film looks absolutely amazing and twisted. Just watch.


Friday, November 21, 2008

Paris Hilton's Arms Freak Me Out

They're both like this. I've seen The Simple Life.

ScarJo Is Not That Hot

ScarJo, your tattoo is butt fugly and you have the same body as me so why does everyone worship you? i call shenanigans!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

In case you didn't know..

Target has some awesome tents

Hate to say I told you so

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

What you need to know about the LG enV

Do not buy the LG enV. It will make you want to smash your own face in. Not only is the interface completely hideous, it's also difficult to navigate. If any part of you was considering buying this particular phone, just don't.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Saturday, February 23, 2008


We've wanted Kanye's freaky Max Headroom shades ever since we first saw them.. AND NOW you can pick them up at Girl Props on Prince Street, or order them online. So sweet!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Tonight is Dre Day in NYC


god, this hurts

La Lohan as Marilyn Monroe.
Lindz looks a mess! This is not sexy!
They couldn't even get her a decent wig??

Source: NY Mag
Full boob action here!

Crap Band of the Month

This is what the majors are serving up now. How insulting.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Everyone Nose: So Good!

We've never actually thought N.E.R.D deserved anything more than a C, maybe C+ at best, but we can't get enough of their new single, "Everyone Nose." Maybe the third time's a charm?

Friday, February 1, 2008

SCARY! When is the LAPD going to stop this?

Paparazzo quits in protest at Britney 'hounding'

When paparazzi have a crisis of conscience over the wellbeing of their celebrity prey, events have clearly reached a serious level. So it is with Britney Spears, the troubled pop star and America's favourite tabloid fodder, who was back under psychiatric evaluation in a Los Angeles hospital last night after the latest in a series of highly publicised meltdowns.

"The paps are completely out of control," said Stern, 43. "It's not unusual to have 20 or 30 cars pursuing her at any one time. It's become acceptable to drive at 80mph down the wrong side of the street into oncoming traffic. I was horrified at what goes on. It's so aggressive, there are fights and crashes and slashed tyres. I felt I needed to say something."

(Continue reading this story on Guardian Unlimited)

WHEN is the LAPD going to stop this dangerous behavior? After someone dies?? GREAT. Something seriously needs to be done to stop this. We wish there was something MORE we could do other than sign this petition.

We think our LA readers should aggressively report paparazzi's careless driving to the LAPD as it happens.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Listen to this: Katy Perry

This bitch gon' be famous. The Glen Ballard-y production and poppy songwriting almost guarantees it. Plus, she's fuckin' sassy. The track she's getting the most attention for right now (which isn't even her best) is "Ur So Gay," a song about an ex-boyfriend who's totally lame and self-involved.


Good morning

In case you ever felt good-looking

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie are the most ridiculously good-looking couple on Earth.

P.S. We totally think she's preggers.

Suck UK is cool

We're not sure enough Americans know about a company called Suck UK, so let us tell you about it: They make some cool-ass shit, including a razorblade mirror and a sick leather chair that looks exactly like Dr. Claw's. You should look at everything they have, although it might leave you cursing the strength of the US dollar.


Buzz kill

Sin City hottie Jaime King (aka former super hot model James King) has married her director beau, Kyle Newman. The good news? Naked pics from her modeling days are still available on the Internet.