SMACKDOWN!: Going Blonde

About six months ago I decided to go blonde. Really blonde. Not highlights, but full-on bleached-as-fuck platinum. The experience left me with chemical burns and scabs on my scalp and a completely new perception of women who choose to be bottle blondes. A world away from a simple, painless foil highlight, this process had me texting friends from my salon chair about the pain and fear of fainting, taking very deliberate breaths (trying to find my zen place), and generally trying to act normal even though my entire body began reacting to the pain (shaky limbs, spotty vision). I started contemplating why any woman would routinely subject herself to this kind of torture just to be blonde. I've accepted pain in the name of beauty countless times (piercings, tattoos, waxes, high heeled shoes) but this kind of self-abuse is baffling to me. I'm never doing this again. The experience was thoroughly disgusting in every sense of the word. Furthermore it makes me regard the bottle blondes I see in a completely different and unsexy light. I look at them and I see scabs, dandruff, insecurity and a whole lot of trying too hard. Am I a complete asshole for seeing this in all these women? Quite possibly. But I just can't justify that kind of pain for having blonde freaking hair.